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Jonathan Coulton's Beard

by David Ritter

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about

This is a song about one of my idols - Mr. Jonathan Coulton , well.. specifically his beard.

lyrics

Jonathan Coulton's beard has magical properties
it pleases the peasant who are under him
It's the beard that made the Kessel run
in less than 12 parsecs

Unicorn Poo does not come close to having the amount of
Midi-chlorians this beard
Do - do do do do do do

Unicorn Poo does not come close to having the amount of
Midi-chlorians this beard
Do - do do do do do do

Jonathan Coulton's beard has the ability to release the Kracken
Cats may have the predisposition to paw at the right side of Jonathan Coultons beard
Jonathan Coulton's beard has a built in Face Time feature
Jonathan Coulton's beard has been shown in the American Journal of Medicine to effectively lower Triglycerides
Jonathan Coulton's beard is an unlockable feature in Dead Rising II

Dance Mr. Coulton
Dance Mr. Coulton
Dance with me all the day long
Cause it's a free ride in paradise
when you strap your Dobro on
Free ride in paradise when you
strap your Dobro on
Strap your Dobro
Strap your Dobro
Strap your Dobro… Ah!

Getty up now

Jonathan Coulton's beard has magical properties
it pleases the peasant who are under him
Clippings of his beard are put in a vile and are
up in the space shuttle way up in the sky
Yes his beard, used to, affect plots and subplots
in episodes of Lost

Unicorn Poo does not come close to having the amount of
Midi-chlorians this beard
Do - do do do do do do

Unicorn Poo does not come close to having the amount of
Midi-chlorians this beard
Do - do do do do do do

credits

released January 7, 2010

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David Ritter Stillwater, Oklahoma

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